& Why You Should Continue to be Afraid of Them
When I was younger I remember obsessively watching The OC and relating to one character, Seth Freakin’ Cohen. Maybe it was because he was the classic NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) and I sort-of was as well, or maybe it was because he talked kind of funny and I did as well, or maybe it was his classic approach to adding movie references in a conversation at any given moment, but Seth Cohen and I were in unity unlike any other. We even had neurosis around the same irrational fears, and for me, much of my life has been characterized by my neurotic tendencies, regardless of anyone else being aware.
For example, after spending years going to the beach as a child, I hadn’t been for about two years in college. When I finally went to the beach one of my first thoughts was, “This is strange seeing so many weirdly tan and healthy looking people here.” Incidentally, Seth Cohen has the same response.
The fact that physical contact freaks him out, freaks me out and has always freaked me out. Not that I don’t love physical contact, but whenever it happens usually the first thought is, “Oh My God! why is this happening?”
Needless to say, neurotic tendencies have crippled my life and the lives of so many around me that I decided to share with you some irrational fears that you should add into your repertoire of weird things to be afraid of. I know we are long away from Halloween but the holidays are right around the corner and lord knows those are scary.
CLOSED SHOWER CURTAINS
This one isn’t one that I think of too much, BUT, I have irrationally checked behind the shower curtain just to make sure no one was there. This stems from way too many movies of the killer hiding behind the shower curtain, actually I think in the movie the woman is in the shower and the killer is on the opposite side of the shower curtain.
REASON TO CONTINUE TO BE AFRAID OF CLOSED SHOWER CURTAINS:
What if there is a killer hiding there, or what if there is a giant fucking snake.
WALKING OVER A SIDEWALK GRATES
This one I absolutely do not get, although I have met several people who fear falling down a sidewalk grate. What I have assessed is that these people usually have never lived in a city and are typically from the midwest.
REASONS TO CONTINUE TO BE AFRAID OF WALKING OVER A SIDEWALK GRATE:
People actually fall down them all the time. Just not Rihanna because Rihanna is invincible.
DRIVING/WALKING OVER BRIDGES
This one actually freaks me out like a lot. I’m not a big fan of heights and driving/walking over a bridge kind of gives me a slight panic attack because I have seen too many videos of bridges collapsing during earthquakes and the like.
REASONS TO CONTINUE TO FEAR DRIVING/WALKING OVER BRIDGES:
Because of earthquakes. Because of what if you get trapped on one. Because what happens when a giant tidal wave comes up from nowhere and destroys the bridge as you skip gaily across it.
FINDING A SPIDER IN YOUR SHOE
I LITERALLY think of this every time I put on my shoes! No matter what I am doing, Every. Single. Time. I put on my shoes I am constantly thinking of the fact that there could be a giant spider lurking in the shoe ready to pounce and attack my foot the moment I put it on.
REASONS TO CONTINUE TO FEAR FINDING A SPIDER IN YOUR SHOE:
Well, spiders are scary, so that’s a decent reason, because if an old lady can live in a shoe, so can a freaking spider.
In actuality, since it is transformation month, maybe we should try and overcome these irrational fears. It seems like they are things that we can learn from rather quickly and who knows change the outcome of our lives for the rest of our lives. That sounds a bit dramatic but when have I ever shied away from drama? Do you have any irrational fears? Leave them in the comments below and let’s all be scared together.