I Tried to Get a Divorce from my iPhone & It Was the Most Difficult Thing I’ve Done All Year

There is a cynical part of me that is immediately judging the title of the post and rolling my eyes because of two reasons, we are barely coming to the end of the first month and divorce implies that I am married to my phone, to which I have not been legally married. BUT IT IS REALLY DIFFICULT.

Let me start by saying that this whole idea basically came out of a month-long isolation from social media, writing blogs, and from watching the movie Call Me By Your Name. I know—I know, how I sound, probably like that friend who is constantly complaining about a situation but never actually doing anything about it, because, in fact, that is very much me, but at the same time I have a hard time parting with my phone because of all the stuff you can get done on it.

My first experience with trying to get rid of my iPhone 7plus started when I stepped into TMobile to cancel my service. *I know Tmobile is the WORST, but I needed to save some $$$$* This became sort of an awkward conversation with the employee who was helping me as they couldn’t understand how one person would willingly choose to do this.

Then I found out that the store didn’t actually sell “dumbphones” anymore. They only sell slower/crappier models of smartphones so I would have to buy a dumbphone elsewhere and bring it in to activate it.

Secondly, I found out that regardless of me downgrading my service, I would still have to pay around 40$ a month for data, even though the phone wouldn’t use data.  On top of a fee for minutes and unlimited text messaging, that’s right, returning to the days of minutes, free weekends and calls after 9pm, and a cap on text messaging.

After all of that I found out that regardless of downgrading my phone, I would also have to pay for the restocking and purchase of my iPhone 7plus. Meaning, I would owe Tmobile around $350.00 just to take my phone. Like, as if.

Still not giving in to the pressures of society or the need to constantly be plugged into my smartphone, I decided to continue the search for a dumbphone—only to find that every retailer who claimed to sell dumbphones, only sells them online. Meaning I would have to wait a few weeks just to get it in. I started saving them in my cart and waited until Morgan got home to go over the prospects of purchasing a dumbphone.

As soon as he came home we started discussing the possibilities of me parting ways with my iPhone and of course, with a slight eye roll, he came up with several reasons why I shouldn’t divorce my iPhone.

Reason 1: The camera.

How else would I take such stunning selfies like this one?

Reason 2: The Internet.

Is there even life without the internet? What was I supposed to do, search things in a library catalog? Use my laptop for everything? Was I just supposed to guess when the whales migrated from Alaska to Mexico?

Reason 3: Maps.

I am naturally good at directions and generally knowing where I am, however, what if I got lost?

Reason 4: Music.

This was the one that got me. I love my music, and I can’t live without it. It is every part of my soul, my being, my spirit—there was no way that I was going to part ways with my music. I had subscriptions to Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora, hell I even listen to iHeartRadio sometimes. This by far would be the most difficult thing for me to lose.

So I decided to wait, and instead, I blocked all of the notifications from my phone—no more pings in the middle of the night from Instagram, Facebook, CNN, or Text Messages.

For about two weeks it was the best decision I had ever made. Until I got a call from my dad saying that Sprint was having a great promotion and he was going to include me in his family plan so I can upgrade my phone.

Within a week I had paid for a brand new iPhone X and was picking out cases. I guess in the end I did get a divorce from my iPhone 7plus.

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