The irony of setting intentions to speak more positively is that it is usually doomed from the start. Last week on my podcast Love Handles, I started to talk about the power of your words and the importance of affirmation, and despite my best intention, the moment I came in contact with another human being those intentions were tested—I failed, in case you were wondering. I didn’t even slightly fail, it was like an epic departure from positivity down the rabbit hole of negativity causing me to get into it with Morgan and negatively assess my phone call with my mother. Murphy’s Law.
Life is sooooooo weird and unpredictable and oftentimes scary, and just when you think you have a handle on it, or think that you have properly assessed a situation and understand it in fullness, and you are in control and prepared, it slips right out of your hands just as quickly as it arrived, almost as if life is throwing you a reminder that you don’t know shit.
In meditation, one of the things you are taught is to surrender your control and allow yourself to trust the experience and yourself. Once you do, which can be difficult, the experience becomes transcendental, and what once was difficult becomes effortless. I wonder if the same is true for the times you decide to set an intention, and maybe by surrendering your need to control you might be able to live out your intention. By extricating ourselves from the reasons that inhibit us, maybe, just maybe, we will live the lives we want to live. Now I’m not necessarily saying that this means we should ignore reality, but instead allowing ourselves to see ourselves at the end of the tunnel, might make the dark alley a little easier to walk through.
Without getting too deep and too heavy, although I might have already dipped a toe in the pond, below is a list of tools that might help you with fixing negative thinking and speech. Who know’s, maybe by the end of this you will be wearing rose-colored glasses and dancing through a field of flowers seeing life like Goldie Hawn and Drew Barrymore. At least, that’s how I imagine they live their lives. One can dream.
Making Words Work.
To consciously harness the power of words for your benefit, start with the ones you’re using.
No Name-Calling or Self-Criticism.
Someone once asked me, “Would you talk to me the way you talk to yourself?” The question was in response to a compliment given to me, where I immediately didn’t receive it and instead critiqued my work. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the same empathy, compassion, and love you extend to anyone else.
Stop All Self-Deprecation.
Never make your body, or something you’ve accomplished, or anything else in your life the butt of a joke. Words have power, and quantum energy doesn’t have a sense of humor. Refer to the story above.
Resist Gossiping and Speaking Ill of Others.
It’s impossible for your words to resonate in anyone else’s body but your own.
Go on a Negativity Diet.
Instead of saying that a meal was terrible, say, “I’ve had better.” You’ve basically said what you wanted to say without putting negative energy through your body—you even used a positive word to do it. This will subconsciously trick you into not seeing it as a negative experience, and ends even a bad experience on a positive note.
Boost the Positive Energy of Words.
Instead of saying something like you had a good time at a concert, ramp up the positive energy by saying great, terrific, or fantastic, instead. These feel much better and generate a bigger energetic response in the body.
If you have some negative Nancy’s in your circle of friends,
limit the time you spend with them or find better friends. Negative energy has a way of dragging everything surrounding it in, like a big black hole. Avoid it when you can.
Surround yourself with positive, uplifting words.
Put affirmations on sticky notes around your home and office that say wonderful things about you, your family, or your goals. Wear clothes that have positive messages or phrases on them. Imagine the kind of positive energy you’ll be generating for yourself when you’re wearing positivity all day long. As you keep doing these things, you use the power of repetition in a highly effective way for your benefit. You have the power to change your world, and using words consciously is one of the quickest ways to shift the energy you bring into your life.
simply watch Jessica every day for the next week or two and add your own affirmations. This is what I am doing because it makes me really happy.